The only person you will live your entire life with is yourself, so how can you resist the desire to learn everything about yourself? It’s as if you bought a car without bothering to check its condition, and then during its entire service life you never did a technical inspection, relying on “maybe” or on the fact that God (parents, teachers) knows best how to drive this car, what what to expect from him and what potential he has. Understanding yourself is the most natural desire. If we understand ourselves, it is easier for us to understand others, and this is a very, very significant bonus in relationships with people.

Self-analysis is not aimless self-examination, it is looking at yourself under a microscope with the right questions. If you use it wisely, it will become a fundamentally necessary tool for self-improvement. With the ability to identify patterns, build connections, get to the bottom of the reasons and check your conclusions. Whether you understand yourself or not. In the first case, you understand what is happening (patterns), in the second, you live in a world of randomness.

Preparation

It is very important to understand your imperfections, to understand your strengths and weaknesses, then after a storm of emotions in response to another criticism😏, you will still think... And the mistake of all “self-diggers” is that their “analysis” lies in the question: Am I right or is my opponent right? If you have low self-esteem, and your opponent has high importance, then you begin to “improve yourself” according to his vision, or, if the situation is the opposite, then you will not hear what they tell you at all. Or maybe you are both right in some ways, but wrong in others? After all, everyone has their own tasks in life.

Analysis consists in sorting out shades - nuances, and not swaying from one extreme to another, on a black-white scale.
Eternal questions “why?”, “why is this happening to me?” may not give you peace. Maybe you think that people, the state, the world are not fair to you? First you need to understand that everything in the world is fair - this is the main principle of existence. And if something happens in your life, then you have sowed these seeds.

Also, you shouldn’t shift responsibility: “it’s his/their fault,” “I can’t do anything,” “it was my parents who spoiled me as a child.” This position will not change the picture; you will remain where you are now. “It’s not meant to be,” “it had to happen this way,” “I have bad karma/a crown of celibacy/an ancestral curse”—these are excuses that simply stop you. After all, if you look at, say, the “crown of celibacy,” then this is simply a complex character (your character), adherence to principles and conservatism in your views on your partner and relationships.

Therefore, it is necessary to disassemble cause-and-effect relationships and change ineffective patterns of perception and behavior.
Self-reflection requires being genuinely interested in yourself. Self-acceptance is the basis of any work in the process of self-development. Without idealization, without blame, with full responsibility for your life, then you are ready to engage in introspection.

Here are some rules of self-analysis that I formulated during my work:

- Impartiality. During the process of self-analysis, you need to remain detached, as if you were studying another person and his behavior. When analyzing past relationships, for example, you need not to relive them, getting emotionally involved, but to observe yourself and your partner as if from the outside.

– You need to learn to see cause-and-effect relationships, which are not always easy to identify. The main thing is to remember that nothing happens for nothing, without a reason, and by understanding the reason, you can protect yourself from repeated mistakes in the future. Experience is given to us in order to learn from it, and for this we need to see what consequences our decisions entail.

– Opinion from the outside. Once you've done a lot of work and identified the causes of a problem, it's helpful to voice it to someone whose judgment you trust. This could be a psychologist, a friend, a close relative. Close people are close for a reason; they can help us understand ourselves better, confirm our theories or add a legitimate dose of doubt to them.

Self-analysis algorithm:

1. Selection of the problem and the context in which it will be considered (separately or together with other parts of life, in what period).

2. Analysis, identification of patterns. Once you have found a repeating pattern of behavior in your past/present, consider that you have already done half the work.

3. Determining the reasons why this pattern was formed. This is the hardest and most important part, this is where you have to be as honest with yourself as possible. If you are lazy or feel sorry for yourself and incorrectly determine the cause, further work will not bear fruit.

4. The decision to change the pattern, i.e. solve the problem of.
Essentially, changing a behavior pattern is simply stopping doing it. But often many algorithms are brought to automaticity and are activated at a subconscious level.

5. What needs to be done for this? Make time to work on yourself, otherwise you will never have time. We need to get rid of the old ineffective model and find and implement a new one... more constructive.

Some techniques:

– Effective forgiveness according to Sviyash (changing negative attitudes to positive ones)
– “Calm Presence” technique (with its help you can change your emotional perception)
– Work with a psychologist

6. First steps to implement the plan.

In the process of self-analysis, your best assistant is awareness, studying psychology, tracking your reactions and interpreting them. (With)

If it is difficult to understand and determine your talents and desires, then in this case only one thing will help - careful self-analysis. In principle, psychological tests are based precisely on self-analysis; they simply ask leading questions with answer options, judging by which you can create a “picture” of a person’s desires and talents. But you can do without tests, psychologists, hypnotists. You can do some self-analysis yourself.

It's best to keep a diary, which is regularly filled with new events from your life with an analysis of your actions and actions in these events. Important: Naturally, one should write in a diary without fear, frankly, but as if others would read it. As you fill its pages, think about the fact that it is intended not only for your eyes, but is also quite accessible to others. This will allow you to see your inner world from the perspective of “the other person.”

If you have never kept a diary, then there is another method: Take a notebook and try write your biography– the life you have lived since birth, try to remember the details and your experiences, feelings in the events of those days, as if you were writing a fiction novel. Well, if you don’t succeed with “art,” then just write a detailed biography, and after writing, when you read, remember these moments and relive them in your imagination. This is a very strong introspection, you will see something in yourself that you had not noticed before.

You can also conduct such a “specific” self-analysis with questions “head-on”: WRITE leading questions, answer them, and analyze, starting with the word “why?” and “how could this affect me?” For example:

Question: What does (worked) my father do? Answer: Tinsmith. Analysis: HOW could this affect me?(and if you also work as a tinsmith now, you can analyze it this way: “maybe I have the inclinations and talent for working with tin, or maybe, on the contrary, the need to work like my father has been deposited in the subconscious, and I haven’t even thought about what I want to do at actually").

Question: What kind of music (songs, style, genre) do I like? Answer: Classics. Analysis: Why?(well, analyze what is so attractive about this music, it could be calmness, admiration for the fact that a person wrote such complex melodies, and even love for history, rarity, etc., etc.)

With all your serious approach to, you still will not be able to achieve a complete picture of your inner world. This is an endless process, so in order to understand yourself better, you need to keep a diary (not necessarily daily, you can write down only those events that had a special effect on you). Analyze your life, your response to the actions of the world around you. If, for example, you are afraid of something, then be sure to think - “WHY am I afraid?” Constant self-analysis will allow you to control not only your emotions and actions, but also your thoughts.

When introspecting, take a very close look at the people around you. Your environment is your mirror. Why do you like to be surrounded by these particular people? What attracts you most about them? Everyone knows the old proverbs: “Whoever you mess with, you’ll gain from” and “Tell me who your friend is, and I’ll tell you who you are.” If you want to change your life, then any psychologist will advise you to start by changing the people around you. Of course, not in the literal sense, but simply to spend most of your time surrounded by those people whose qualities you would like to possess. When conducting self-reflection, make it a priority to examine your childhood and your relationship with your parents. The analysis of the parents itself is also necessary, both from the point of view of genealogy and from the point of view of the influence of your parents on you.

How to do self-analysis.

You learned about whether self-analysis is possible or not from the article “Is Self-Analysis Possible?”, now I will try to present to you one of the options for how it can be carried out. But do not forget about all the advantages and all the disadvantages and limitations of self-analysis.

In this option, you are invited to stock up on a thick notebook, a pair of pens that write well, and some time daily or weekly that you can devote to your own introspection. And, of course, a fair amount of interest and enthusiasm that you are ready to devote to this exciting process.

Where to begin?

Each of you will have your own, unique and inimitable experience that you will gain as a result of this activity. This business is not just captivating - it is addictive. This does not mean that you only need introspection and study, and whenever free time appears, throw yourself into it headlong, but you need to approach this seriously, responsibly and be ready to spend your free time. This can be very interesting, but it is not necessary. Therefore, your self-analysis may take you much less or more time.

To say that you will analyze yourself and understand everything is to say nothing. Much, much later, when your notes and notebooks are left aside, you will make discoveries and learn something new for yourself. Therefore, now, I cannot tell you, I cannot promise that you will analyze yourself once, understand everything and you will feel good. Nothing like that will happen. But something else, more important, may happen.

And this important thing is that you can look at hundreds of things and phenomena completely differently. Many of your actions may appear in a completely different light. Why and how does this happen? Why can our opinion of us change so much? The reason is actually very simple: when we take actions, when our life changes, we evaluate it, we define it, we relate to it somehow. But we extremely rarely give such an assessment of the entire cycle of events, all the steps we have taken. And when someone is late for a meeting, it doesn’t seem like something special, it doesn’t happen to anyone, but when, analyzing yourself, you realize that you have a chronic reason for being late, and the same chronic system of making excuses, then you ask yourself the question: and why, exactly?

After all introspection is not, or not so much, to interpret some event in our life, but rather to look at the most significant cycles of events, the chain of our steps and the orderly rows of rakes made over the years. A particular situation may not characterize you in any way, but a separate pattern inherent in this or that cycle, a pattern of any property, is already some kind of diagnosis. Without a medical connotation, of course.

Since your life strategies are unique and inimitable, I can hardly say what will happen to you as a result, and what useful discoveries you will be able to make if you analyze them. But you can take advice on which directions are best to focus all your attention. It's easy.

Notebook for self-analysis and writing in it

Any notebook will do, preferably one with more pages. The order of the entries is completely random. If it is more convenient for someone to design it, somehow decorate it with different pastes and emphasize important words and phrases, then there is no problem. Whatever you prefer. But here’s a request: don’t try to be clever, perpetuate your words, polish your phrases, or think for a long time about the beauty of your statements. In our business, the main thing is spontaneity, lightness and arbitrariness. Don’t be lazy to write notes on scraps of paper if you don’t have a notebook at hand, but you remember something important. Then you can either rewrite or put these notes in a notebook. I simply put it in, and, as a result, the notebook did not resemble a diary at all, but more like a piggy bank of all sorts of leaves and notes. However, sometimes I sorted through all these notes, grouped them and rewrote some of them together if they were united by some common meaning. In general, no categoricalness or strictness. To your taste and color.

Friends and buddies.

Throughout our lives we make friends. Some of them stay with you for the rest of your life, some we part with for various reasons. It seems that we remember them all well, there is no point in arguing. However, it is extremely valuable and useful to write them all down on paper. Try to give a short portrait for each of them. Try to highlight something special that is common to all your friends. This way you can find some traits and qualities that predetermine your sympathy. When remembering and studying your friends, it will be useful to have several very important parameters that should be remembered and recorded. Attention here! As a rule, people who write diaries try to present reality in such a light that everyone is a villain and they are good. This happens mostly unconsciously, and happens because any diary always contains the secret feeling of its author that this diary will one day be read by someone else. But since you are engaged in introspection and not writing a diary for subsequent generations, try to be frank and explain events as they deserve, and not in a way that makes you look decent and noble. It makes sense to remember and describe (or label, or draw, but it should appear on paper in one form or another) the following things.

First, if those people whom you used to call friends, but now you can only do so in the past tense, have ceased to be such, then why did this happen? Who acted as the explicit or implicit initiator of the separation? In what cases have you lost interest in this friendship, and in what cases have you lost interest in you? It is worth highlighting separately the cases when friendship, for some reason, turned into hostility, into irreconcilable hatred. What happened? Do these situations have something in common that is typical for all of them?

Second. Try to determine for yourself and write down the fundamental difference between a friend and a friend, between a friend and a good acquaintance. Find the shades of gradation of your relationships that exist for you and try to define each of them, as well as highlight the most characteristic differences between these concepts. In what cases would you never call a friend a friend? When would you never call a friend your friend? What is the most important thing so that you can call a person a friend and your relationship - friendship, friendly?

Third. Lifespan of a relationship. How durable are they? How long are you able to maintain and develop friendships? Are your friendships at a critical point?

Fourth. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where two of your close friends begin to quarrel with each other? What are your actions in such a situation? What results does this lead to? Would you say you are satisfied with your strategy? If not, how can it be improved, knowing from experience that it is ineffective? Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had to be at enmity, but at the same time there was someone else who remained neutral and maintained relationships - both with you and with the party hostile to you? What will you do, having already had experience in a similar situation, if it happens again with other people close to you now? What lesson did you learn from these situations?

Who would you say is the antithesis of a friend? What qualities doom a person to hopelessness in trying to become your friend? What do you never accept under any circumstances? Here it is very useful not so much to give abstract examples, but to remember real people and real cases from your life.

What traits and qualities in you most often spoil relationships with other people? Which one is most common? What do your friends reproach you for most often? In what cases did you compromise, and in what cases did you not lift a finger to change the situation? And how does the first differ from the other?

Love and Marriage Relationships Each of you has a very different background of experience on this testing ground, and therefore it is very difficult to offer universal templates for analysis. However, I will try to do this, and you can use only those that clearly suit you, or add some of your own that are not listed here. In general, the list of possible aspects is easily and simply scaled, expanded and refined, and you can supplement and modify it.

First. Remember and write down all the people throughout your life to whom you have had loving feelings, to whom you have been drawn, to whom you have dreamed as a potential partner, with whom you have had a real connection, regardless of its duration. Try to remember everyone who was interesting to you, who you were attracted to, who you were in love with, for whom you had strong emotional and sexual feelings.

Second. Remember and write down all the people who had an increased interest in you, and you knew about it. Perhaps someone sought your love and appreciation? Persistently invited to spend time? Here identify all those whose claims did not arouse your response and interest. Briefly describe each of these cases. Remember how you make it clear to a person that his interest will not be justified? What is the reason for your refusal in each particular case? Don't all these cases have something in common? Here you can also make notes about cases when the opposite side began to behave atypically: threats, persecution, change of favor to hostility, revenge, and so on. Clarify all these cases and try to determine what your mistake is, and how you can get out of such situations with the least losses - both for you and for other people.

Third. Sex appeal. Highlight the most important features of your partner's sexual attractiveness, without reference to specific examples. There is nothing to be ashamed of here, anyway, no one except you will read or see it. Write down the most important qualities and arrange them in order of importance. And only then try this list on your partners to see how much it matches in each specific case. Is there some kind of pattern in which the duration of a relationship, for example, can be directly dependent on the completeness of this list?

Fourth. Write down the reasons for separation and destruction of your love relationships. What are these reasons, do they have anything in common? In what cases did you not break off the relationship completely, but transferred it in a different direction, for example, into friendship or into the category of good acquaintances? In what cases have you hated your partner and avoided him? In what cases did he do the same? Who is more likely to be the initiator of divorce and separation? Who more often suggests changing the relationship to friendship? Who is more likely to go on the warpath? What useful experiences have you had, what lessons have you learned, what will you do next time if the situation happens again?

Fifth. Attitude towards children. How many children will you have? Why exactly this number? Is a child's name important? What associations do you have with this name, if any? Does the gender of the child matter? What role do you want to play in parenting? How do you feel about corporal punishment and why? Are there any parallels between your answer and how your parents treated you as a child?

Sixth. Note somewhere your three strongest feelings when you, so to speak, lost your head from the desire to be close to these people. What do these people have in common? Be extremely careful. Body constitution, eye color, voice, height, manners, character traits, gestures, hair color, and so on. What can be added to this list for each of these people that would make them even more beautiful? What will destroy their image and all their attractiveness if some element is removed from the compiled list. You can try to carefully remove this or that feature or quality in your imagination, and at the same time carefully listen to your own feelings. Write down any ideas.

Profession and work

Think about what professions you dreamed of as you grew up. How big is the list of these professions? Why did you dream about this in each specific case, what prompted you to this thought, this dream? What is the reason for the fact that over time it has lost its relevance.

The influence of parents and relatives on your professional choice. Did they have special theories about who you should be and what you should strive for? Are you making choices influenced by someone else or your own? Was there any pressure on you? Have you been threatened or blackmailed by anyone? Have your interests and attempts to realize yourself the way you want been thwarted?

Place of work. Write down all the jobs you have worked on. Write privately, in any order, without excluding anything. If the list ends up being large, then you can re-sort it in a convenient order. What brought you to this job? Make a comment for each of them. What did you like most about this job? What did you learn that was particularly useful on this job? What was the reason you left this job. In each case, highlight the most important, central one. Is there any pattern, something common, any property in your list of reasons? Maybe you are chronically laid off? Or do you become disillusioned with this work after a while? Perhaps some third-party reasons that have nothing to do with work are always interfering? Re-sort the list of abandoned jobs by reason, combining the most common ones. What conclusion can you draw? What adjustments can you make to your future career based on the information you have received?

Relationships with colleagues and superiors. Make a list of all the most conflicting cases throughout your professional career. Quarrels, betrayal, intrigue, pressure from someone, demotion, salary reduction, deception, and so on. Highlight the most typical situations that are repeated. What conclusion can you draw in this situation, having received such a “track record”? Are there opportunities to improve this situation and prevent repetition of such situations?

Especially highlight relationships with superiors. Make a brief description of all of them, what is the reason for conflict or strained relations with them in each specific case? Remember and describe the cases of “good” bosses, if there were any. What steps have you taken to, if possible, smooth out or eliminate conflicts and mutual dissatisfaction?

Are you a magical person? If you worked in small teams, how did the life of this team and the position of the company (organization) itself develop during the entire period of your stay in it? If possible, highlight all the cases when, during your work, the company either strengthened its position, or, conversely, its position worsened. Write it all down and compare the results. Can any conclusions be drawn from this?

Personal qualities and characteristics

Remember all your brightest successes, the best achievements. Write them down and define the reason that, in your opinion, was the reason for this success. What is your contribution in each of these cases? What qualities played the first violin in these events. You can write it out regardless, without reference to a particular area. A brilliant speech, an excellent dissertation defense, a sporting achievement, any result in a particular field that you admire, are satisfied with, and are proud of, or that you were delighted with in the distant or recent past (even if the emotions are now dulled and cooled down). Write down everything that comes to mind.

Describe your best qualities of any property. Include all your skills and abilities. Imagine how you can enhance this, how you can make these qualities even more effective and useful? Summarize your ideas.

Make a list of your most important shortcomings. It is best if it consists of two columns. The first list is based on the theory of the people around you. The second is only according to your own theory. The lists may be the same, or very different: for example, the list of shortcomings I highlighted included those that were not noticed by others (at one time there was a theory that you need to be taller - who needs it, why it is necessary is not clear), and The list of third-party shortcomings also included some that I even considered advantages (for example, a dislike of talking about my problems). Think about whether these lists can be shortened? If a deficiency cannot be corrected, then how and with what can it be compensated? If you are unable to give up something that other people perceive as a disadvantage, what compromise solutions could you offer them so that the disadvantage would affect them less?

Remember and write down all your interests throughout your life. What interested you in this or that period? Have you ever lost interest in one thing or another, and after a while returned to it again? Try to clarify the time interval for each area of ​​your interests, your hobbies: it could be a hobby, sports, immersion in a particular scientific or applied topic, flower breeding, and so on. This also includes plans that you have not implemented, but have been nurturing for some time.

Parents and education

Remember and write down all the cases when the help and support of your parents (relatives) turned out to be very valuable to you at that time. Make a list of thanks that you could present to your parents as an excuse. What useful and valuable did they do for you, what is their role unconditional and unambiguous. Leave all the grievances and misunderstandings for other pages of introspection. Only objectivity, only statements of facts and recognition of positive aspects.

Remember and write down the most insatiable grievances, the most furious complaints against your parents. Try, in addition to writing them down, to express them in the form of a drawing for each such situation. Detail what really hurts, what does not wash off over time and does not subside. Divide this list into one where your grievance was expressed and not expressed. Which cases are there more? What do you think would happen if this list were reversed? Would it be better or worse? What will you do in the future: will you leave everything as it is, or will you try to somehow break this situation? Also write down the conclusions you drew from your unpleasant childhood experiences that you will extend to your children?

How confident are you that you will not repeat these mistakes of your parents? Will you use the positive experiences you recalled in the first part of the self-reflection? Come up with some global, universal tips that you have learned from your relationship with your parents that will benefit all other parents.

Were you punished as a child? Remember all the most severe punishments, if any? How will you look after your own children? Do you have an opinion on this matter? Can this opinion be called a continuation of the line of upbringing that your parents followed in relation to you? Or is it, on the contrary, the antithesis of their approach?

Think about and write down the image of an ideal father and an ideal mother. What should they be? Determine the true qualities of your parents, and compare the list of ideal and the list of what actually happened. Compare the ideal image of the opposite sex with the list of your hobbies, your most important qualities in the person you can love or love. What qualities are the same? Do you find something in your loving affections that is similar to your ideas about an ideal parent?

Matching elements

Often we unconsciously make a choice towards something that has some super-valuable attribute, some special property. This could be numerical matches, or color matches, or the choice of a name, orientation to some external information that you choose as a guide to action, and so on.

Names. You can try to write down all the names of the people closest and most significant to you throughout your life. Is there a particular name that appears more often than others?

Numbers and critical dates. In the process of self-analysis, you can discover numbers that tend to repeat. For example, two years of marriage is the ceiling for you. Or you don't tend to stay more than a quarter at any job. Don’t be lazy to remember the apartment and floor numbers of your loved ones, your friends. Clarify some numbers if they particularly stick in your memory. There may also be critical months (for example, in December everything improves for you, or vice versa), typical recurrences of diseases, and so on.

Attitude towards animals. What animals did you have (have), which ones do you love and why, which ones do you dislike and why? What role have animals played in your life? What valuable things did your communication with them provide?

Color preferences. What colors do you love the most? What are your most powerful memories? What color clothes do you like best? Hair color? Eye color? If you can remember, list all your favorites and cutest ones by color choice. Are there any similarities? Mentally repaint them a different color and listen to your own feelings. If something has changed, try to formulate it somehow.

Summarize

Here is a very rough list of the most important cycles in your life. It can be clarified and supplemented as necessary and due to the specific content of your biography. The most important result that you can get is that your relationships with the world will become much more transparent, clearer, you will look at them completely differently, and many problems will disappear forever. Your attitude towards yourself may change greatly: it may seem strange, but you will learn to understand and accept yourself not just an order of magnitude, but many times better and more harmonious. You will reconsider a lot of your past and simply laugh at some things: my God, but this happened to me, and how it bothered me!

Self-analysis - the basics of self-study, how to understand yourself

Hello, dear readers of my blog! Today I want to tell you about the most important thing. About how to look into yourself, about how to understand yourself. About what is called self-analysis of oneself, one’s life and character. And this is truly the most important thing in our life. Once you understand yourself, you will understand what happiness is, what you should do, and what it is best to give up.

What is a good life?

Probably, when most modern people hear the word “learn to live,” they think of “live well, become rich,” and so on. But that's not true. Or rather, not quite like that. Wealth, fame and other illusory elements of “the height of happiness” turn out to be not so happy after all. Quite the contrary. All this makes a person’s life so difficult that most rich people dream of being happy. Because they are definitely not identical to each other.

The psychological aspect of the attitude towards what is called “happiness” is a thing so deep and individual that it is quite difficult to describe it.

For everyone, happiness is something deeply intimate, personal, beyond retelling.

My task is not to give everyone happiness, my task is for you to find it yourself with my help. And to do this, you must first find yourself.

A professional psychotherapist, coaching or teaches a person not a technique for increasing intelligence, talent and abilities. And so that the person himself can make himself more intelligent, talented or capable. And the objective level is not important here - what matters here is how much you yourself evaluate this level and how much your level will help you become happy and live in harmony with yourself.

Self-study and its methods

To begin with, it is worth understanding that self-study is the study of the unconscious in oneself. You yourself act as a patient and a specialist, for example, a psychotherapist. The question arises: is it possible that a person himself, with his complexes, shortcomings and resistances, could objectively study himself and his character? The answer is simple - not only is it possible, but it is the basis of psychotherapy. Without working on oneself, a specific personality on the part of anyone is impossible.

Another question arises: which method of self-analysis is best to choose, which one is better? And also the answer is quite simple. There is no better school for personality self-diagnosis, there is your desire, and nothing more. Of course, there are many schools, and the main thing in them is not the method or school itself, but the ability to convey knowledge to a person and encourage him to achieve harmony with himself.

Here it is worth mentioning the school of Freud and the neo-Freudians. Recently, this direction of studying the unconscious from quite specific positions has become fashionable. I think we should not trust either the Freudians or the neo-Freudians any more than other schools. Undoubtedly, sexual attraction plays a significant role on the personality and its actions, but it is unlikely that this role is the dominant one. But here, as they say, it’s a matter of taste.

Your feelings are the key

Let's get back to the basics of self-analysis. The main thing in the method of self-study of your subconscious is to reduce resistance as much as possible.

Resistance is a natural reaction of your personality to its study due to existing stereotypes, habits, character, and so on. The lower the resistance level, the higher the quality of self-diagnosis.

You must try to forget about your habits and addictions, treat yourself as if you were another person. You need to forget your feelings at the moment, and concentrate on your feelings earlier, at some specific moment. Your desire is important here. The higher the desire to comprehend oneself, the less resistance there should be.

For example, you are experiencing suffering from breaking up with someone who was once close to you. You cannot fully sleep, work, communicate, and your thoughts are directed only at this.

In order to understand what happened to you, you must calm down and remember your feelings for this person who was once close to you at different stages. Remember how you felt when he gave you flowers, when you watched an interesting movie together, when you first quarreled because of your flirting at a party with your acquaintance. Remember how you read horoscopes and one of the horoscopes inspired you that you are supposedly “Aquarius”, and your loved one is “Cancer”, therefore “Aquarius” always flirts, and “Cancer” is closed and these two “signs” are incompatible. If you honestly and objectively try to conduct self-analysis, remember the words of your mother about your loved one. Remember that, in fact, you didn’t want to flirt with an acquaintance at a party, but the horoscope simply obliged you to behave in full accordance with your “sign”.

Go deeper into yourself:

• How did you feel when you first met?
• Fear of loneliness?
• Fear of appearing fat?
• Fear of bad breath in the morning when you got up later than usual and didn’t have time to brush your teeth?
• What were your feelings when you were alone for the first time?

Resistance and your Self will definitely send you on the wrong track and force you to reject your attempt at introspection. Yes, your loved one is definitely overly jealous. After all, he must enter into your position, recognize your freedom.

Now imagine everything you felt in those moments, but from the point of view of an outside observer. How would you feel about another girl who openly flirts with an acquaintance at a party, knowing in advance that her significant other does not like it. And you will probably see that your behavior was not just ugly, but inappropriate and inappropriate. That your behavior was provoked by the nonsense that people invent and call “horoscope”. That these “horoscopes” contradict each other, because they are nothing more than a human invention due to fantasy and marketing...

We have superficially examined only the very first method of self-analysis of oneself and one’s behavior, and have given a superficial look at self-study. So that you understand what it is and in which direction you should go.

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Do you know this feeling, like most people? Each of us has at least once caught ourselves thinking that we are plunging into our comfort zone and completely forgetting that there is a chance for a deeper, more authentic and rich life. Why is this happening? Probably because people stop challenging themselves and choose the easier option. Many of us are afraid to ask ourselves provocative questions that might push us out of our comfort zone.

However, you shouldn't pretend that everything in your life is perfect if it really isn't. You deserve the life you dream of! It's never too late to change your lifestyle and truly enjoy your work.

Ask yourself these 50 important questions that will help you change your outlook on life. Make sure you are honest with yourself and have the strength to make the necessary changes in your life!

Self-Reflection Questions

What would you do differently in your life if you knew that no one would judge you for it?

1. How would you describe yourself in three words? Write them down.
2. How often do your greatest fears come true?
3. What lessons have you learned in life?
4. What moments make you love your life?
5. Who do you typically compare yourself to?
6. Do you have personal long-term and short-term goals? If there are any, write them down.
7. Who are the people you surround yourself with?
8. Are you happy with who you are now?
9. How would you define your core values? Write them down.
10. What actions do you feel proud of lately?
11. Whose advice have you been listening to lately?
12. Are you spending your money wisely?
13. Are you satisfied with your job?
14. If you had unlimited resources, how would you change your life and the lives of those around you? Write it down.
15. Do you celebrate your small achievements?
16. Do you consider yourself worthy of admiration?
17. Do you make the lives of others better? Who exactly? Write it down.
18. What is the difference between life and existence, in your opinion?
19. How many years would you give yourself if you didn’t really know this number?
20. What is your biggest dream and biggest fear? Write them down next to today's date.
21. What would you do differently in life 5 years ago?
22. Is there a person/thing/phenomenon that makes you happy every day?
23. How do you define success?
24. What do you regret more: failing or never trying?
25. If you could become a different person for a while, who would you like to become?
26. What was the worst day of your life and why?
27. Is there anything you did differently than most people are used to?
28. What inspires you most?
29. What do you regret most?
30. When was the last time you learned something new that surprised you? What was it?
31. Are you afraid to express your opinion in public?
32. How often do your own fears stop you?
33. What mark would you like to leave on this world? Write it down in one sentence.
34. Can happiness exist without sadness?
35. Do you have to justify your actions to others, or to yourself?
36. What will your life be like in 10 years? In 2026?
37. Do you say “no” to requests? If not, why not?
38. Are you fixated on any past mistakes?
39. Describe the biggest challenge you are currently facing?
40. How many people do you really love now and what do you do for them?
41. If you could ask for only one wish to be granted, what would it be?
42. Do you listen carefully to people when they talk to you?
43. Describe one character trait by which you would like to be remembered by people?
44. What bad habits do you want to get rid of?
45. ??How often do you communicate with the people you love?
46. What are the top 3 compliments you have received from others about yourself? Write them down.
47. How would you describe your future in a few words?
48. What is your favorite place on Earth?
49. What are you an expert in?