Who does the child stay with? Who does the child stay with during divorce? What to do if children are divided in court, on whose side will the court be?

Unfortunately, divorce is a common occurrence these days. And one of the important and difficult questions to be resolved in the process is: “Who does the child stay with after the divorce?”

It is difficult for children to understand and accept that mom and dad no longer want to live together. This means they will have to see some of them less often. The parents themselves do not improve the situation by sorting things out, and sometimes even trying to win the child over to their side. It is rare that any spouse is able to resolve this dispute peacefully. That is why in the Russian Federation, if there are minor children in the family, divorce is carried out only through the court.

Parents often ask lawyers who their child should stay with after a divorce. There is no clear answer to this question. It is important to understand that determining the place of residence of children is not a competition of income and connections of parents, or a contest of eloquence. When making a decision, the court will primarily be guided by the interests of the child and will make the most favorable choice for him.

Settlement agreement

The ideal option to establish with whom the child will remain after the divorce is to draw up a settlement agreement. The possibility of drawing up such a document is specified in Art. 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

Balanced, sensible people who understand that a child’s fate is not a reason for adult squabbles are capable of taking this step.

An agreement on children upon divorce is the name of a document that the spouses draw up jointly in writing and have it certified by a notary. Usually it consists of two agreements: on the child’s place of residence and on child support payments. Ready-made forms can be easily found in electronic or paper form.

The settlement agreement must include:

Location;
meeting schedule and communication procedures with the other parent;
joint participation in education;
procedure for financial support for a minor child.

You can apply this agreement to the magistrate’s court, which will approve it if the document does not contradict the interests of the child.

The settlement agreement can be changed or terminated only by mutual consent of the participants. Any of the former spouses can offer adjustments if their life circumstances change. If the other party refuses to make changes, the issue will be resolved in court.

If the parents were unable to conclude an agreement, the issue of the child’s place of residence will be considered in the district court.

After the divorce of father and mother, the children's lifestyle will no longer be the same. And this circumstance can cause them psychological trauma and moral suffering.

The least traumatic for the child's psyche is joint custody - a phenomenon that is still little known in Russia.

It can be physical and legal. The first involves the child alternately living with both parents. Ideal if the ex-spouses live close to each other and follow a similar parenting strategy.

With legal joint custody, the little person permanently lives with one of the parents, but the other takes an active and equal part in all significant events of the child’s life: study, treatment, recreation, etc.

Trial

The judicial procedure for the “separation” of children after the parents’ divorce is regulated by Article 78 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation and the federal law “On the Protection of the Rights of the Child” (as amended by the laws of July 20, 2000 No. 103-FZ, of August 22, 2004 No. 122-FZ, of December 21. 2004 No. 170-FZ). This process is quite lengthy and complex. Public proceedings can cause stress and negative emotions for all members of a disintegrating family.

To make a final decision, the court will need to consider factors such as:

opinion of a child over 10 years old;
parents' wishes;
living conditions of the spouses, their financial security;
moral character and health status of family members.

The right to be a full participant in judicial proceedings, that is, to express their views and arguments, is granted to children from the age of 10. The older a teenager is, the more likely it is that he will make an independent decision about who he will be better off with and express his opinion, which will certainly be taken into account by the court. Children usually understand very well when one of the parents is pretending to be good for their own purposes.

It is a mistake to believe that the financially better off spouse will definitely win in court. A high income most often implies a busy work schedule, and therefore a lack of free time. This is very important when raising children.

Studying the conditions of a possible place of residence is the responsibility of the guardianship and trusteeship authorities, which must necessarily participate in the trial.

To make a decision, the court will need to study the act of checking living conditions, the preparation of which is the responsibility of the guardianship authorities. Their representatives must study and analyze the family environment and property conditions in the place of residence of each parent. Such examination is carried out solely for the purpose of protecting the rights of minor children.

Having arrived in person at the destination, inspectors:

will appreciate the provision of living space, sleeping space and necessary furniture, a place for games and activities;
will check the sanitary and technical condition of the housing;
pay attention to the appearance and mood of the baby;
They will find out who else lives at this address.

Most often, the date and time of the visit is agreed upon with the residents.

Who will the infant stay with?

By definition, the baby must stay with the mother, since she is the one who provides him with nutrition, hygiene and care. But there are exceptions to any rule.

The father will be able to take the baby if, for example, he is bottle-fed, and the mother does not pay him due attention, leads an asocial lifestyle, or is registered with a drug treatment or psychoneurological dispensary.

If there are several children in the family

If spouses have two or more children, during a divorce the court will individually determine the place of residence of each of them, depending on which parent is closer to which parent and whose interests and hobbies they share. Also important is the question of how siblings will perceive separate upbringing.

If we analyze life examples of who the court leaves children with after a divorce, we can conclude that most often the decision is made in favor of the mother. And this is not gender discrimination at all.

It is genetically proven that a woman is more strongly attached to her child; she devotes more time to his upbringing and development, while a man is busy providing for the family. Of course, the closeness between family members is also influenced by the gender of the child: girls trust their mothers, and boys need their father’s support. But this circumstance is little taken into account by the court. Therefore, the spouse in whose favor the decision was made to allow the children to live needs to be wiser and not interfere with their meetings with the parent living separately.

There are cases when a man successfully defends his position in a dispute about who the child should stay with after a divorce. In this case, the mother makes child support payments and follows the established order of meetings.

Having decided to divorce, the spouses must admit that the children are not to blame for their breakup, but they are the ones who suffer the most. The fate of the baby directly depends on the outcome of the divorce. Whichever parent he stays with will raise him and actually build his future life. Therefore, adults in this situation need to think not about themselves and their ambitions, but try to make a balanced and optimal decision.

Who should the child live with? This question often worries a married couple who intend to divorce in the near future. That is why we will consider this issue in more detail.

Who does a minor child stay with according to the law, regulations?

The legislation of the Russian Federation cannot give an unambiguous answer as to who a minor child will remain with after the divorce of his parents.

Yes, his mother has priority, but the court will necessarily consider the issue of the child’s living conditions with either parent.

An important role is played by the financial situation of the mother and father, as well as the psychological trauma of the child, which can occur when he is separated from one of the parents.

If, according to the Family Code of the Russian Federation, the child does not yet have legal grounds to independently decide with whom to live, the court in 99% of cases gives preference to the mother.

Today, this issue is regulated by the Family Code of the Russian Federation. In particular, we are talking about such articles as:

Article 57, which provides for the opportunity for a child (10 years and older) to independently choose with whom he will feel better;
Article 66, which guarantees the second parent the right to visit his child who remains living with the second parent.
Article 81, which determines the amount of alimony upon divorce for each minor child;
Article 78, which guarantees the protection of the rights of the child in divorce proceedings.

Child under 3 years old

A minor child who is under 3 years old is always left by the court with his mother, regardless of the father’s financial situation.

But the father has the right to take the child to him with the help of the court if the mother (his ex-wife):

is incompetent or leads an immoral lifestyle;
tends to drink alcohol excessively;
is a drug addict.

If any of the above factors are present, the court takes the father’s side, otherwise the child will definitely remain with his mother.

Infant

There are often situations when a divorce is initiated before the child turns 1 year old.

In this case, it is necessary to take into account the fact that according to the Family Code of the Russian Federation, without the consent of the child’s mother, the court does not have the right to make a decision on divorce (divorce can be obtained without the consent of the child’s mother only after the baby turns one year old).

In the event that a mother decides to sever all relations with the father of her infant child, the court clearly takes her side.

An exception may be the above factors, but even then it is necessary initially.

Who does the child stay with after 10 and after 14 years?

If the child of the divorce is already 10 years old or more, the court will definitely ask him with whom he would like to live. But this does not mean at all that the court will make a decision in favor of the parent with whom the child wanted.

First of all, the court takes into account:

the financial situation of each parent;
the conditions in which the child will live;
how the child will eat;
where are the best educational opportunities and so on.

Of course, the mother always has priority, and if she does not have any “sins,” the child will remain with her.

But at the same time, it is necessary to take into account the fact that as soon as the child turns 14 years old, he has the right to independently decide who to be with. Moreover, neither parents nor even the court have the right to prohibit his right.

Upon reaching the age of 14, a child has the right to go live with the parent with whom he or she has expressed a desire.

Will children stay with their father, when and in what situations?

After the spouses divorce, their joint minor child may also remain with his father. However, this is only possible in cases such as:

the child’s mother independently decided that the child should live with the father, since it is better there, and at the same time she and her husband signed a peace agreement;
The father of the child can actually date the child more than the mother, both in everyday life and in education. At the same time, there is documentary evidence of this from the guardianship authorities;
the child’s mother cannot raise her child because she leads an immoral lifestyle: she drinks a lot, uses drugs, and so on;
the mother of a minor child is declared incompetent;
the mother has mental illness, which puts the life and health of the child at risk;
Due to her work, the mother of the child is constantly on business trips;
the child cannot be with his mother (when she tries to pick him up, he screams, cries, and reaches out to his father).

If any of the above is proven in court, the court clearly decides to leave the minor child with the father.

Practice in Russia

Judicial practice in the Russian Federation shows that in 90% of cases a child who is under 10 years old remains directly with his mother, no matter how good the father is. This is due to the fact that psychologists say one thing: “Until the age of 10, a child’s psyche is in the formative stage and in the event of a break with his mother, there may be inevitable consequences.”

If the mother has her own corner, she works and can provide the child with everything necessary, the court takes her side unconditionally.

This is the reality of current practice. However, nothing prevents us from introducing other trends into the history of judicial practice on this issue; the legislation provides all the opportunities for this.

In other countries

In various foreign countries, the court does not take into account the fact that the child must remain with the mother.

For example, in France, if the second parent is a foreigner, then during a divorce he is strictly prohibited from taking the child out of the country. According to their laws, a child must live only in France until he reaches adulthood. When deciding who to leave the child with, the court accepts the side that is wealthier and can provide not only a good upbringing, but also more comfortable living conditions.

In Norway, when deciding who to leave a child with, they start from the fact that, according to their laws, a child must attend school from the age of 6 for the next 10 years. If either party cannot ensure attendance without passes, the court accepts the opposite party. In this case, preference is initially given to the mother.

In Germany, psychologists are invited to help decide with whom a child will be better off in court proceedings. They talk with the child and, based on his opinion and the characteristics provided by each parent, draw a conclusion from their work. Based on this, the court makes a decision.

In practice, this means that before the court, everyone has an equal chance of getting their child to be raised.

Conditions under which the court decides to leave the child with the father

The main condition, without any doubt, is considered to be the lack of proper upbringing of the child by the mother herself.

But at the same time, in court, the father must not only prove the existence of the immoral life of his ex-wife, but also that the child will be better off with him.

The court will take his side if:

it will be seen that the child is reaching out to his father;
the father has a constant source of income;
the father is able to provide comfortable living conditions and give the child a proper upbringing;
The father has no criminal record.

If the father fulfills the basic conditions, the court clearly takes his side.

Who should a child stay with after a divorce according to psychologists' recommendations?

Almost all psychologists say that it is always better for a child to stay with his mother. But at the same time, if you abruptly break off all contacts with your father, you can end up with mental trauma, which will be very difficult for the child to heal.

Psychologists advise that in the first months after a divorce, give the right to see the father almost every day and gradually reduce the frequency of such meetings, if necessary. Thus, for the child, the process of parental divorce will be painless and with minimal damage to his health.

Cases from judicial practice

Let's consider several judicial practices.

Case Study #1

In Vologda, the father of a minor boy filed a claim with the court, in which he indicated that the child should stay with him.

In turn, the child’s mother asked the court to leave the child with her and determine his place of residence in the capital. Moreover, she asked to collect alimony from her father.

In parallel with this, the local guardianship authorities of Vologda took the side of the father, while the children's service took the side of the mother.

They became third parties during the court hearing of this issue. At the same time, they formed a general conclusion - the child’s living conditions will be better if he remains with his father.

The local city court of Vologda made a decision and left the child with his father. The regional court also agreed with this verdict.

However, the mother did not leave everything as it was and reached the Judicial Collegium for resolving civil issues of the Supreme Court. This court reported that they had grounds to overturn the verdict.

The Vologda City Court, when making its decision, relied on Articles 65 and 66 of the RF IC, but the Supreme Court recognized the father’s arguments on this issue as incomplete. In turn, this body referred to the Convention on the Rights of the Child, which states that regardless of what decision was made by local courts, the interests of the child and the due attention given to him by each of the parents should be taken into account first.

According to our IC, parents must independently decide the issue of with whom the child stays. But if the child has already reached the age of 10, he has the right to express his desire to the court.

The Supreme Court also made it clear that the guardianship authorities should be an interested party, but here they are only a third of the party. Moreover, the court does not understand why the arguments of the baby’s father were taken into account, but the mother’s were completely rejected. According to the Constitution of the Russian Federation, each party has the right to present its arguments in court.

In turn, the father presented the local court with a medical report indicating that the child had a mental illness, which was caused by the influence of his mother. For this reason, the mother demanded that an additional examination be ordered by a professional neurologist, but the court refused.

In this regard, the Supreme Court overturned the decision made by the local court and ordered a re-conduct of the medical examination. Due to the fact that there was a violation in court by one of the parties, in this case the mother, the case was sent for review.

Example No. 2

The father of a minor girl appealed to the local court of the city of Belgorod, who in a statement of claim asked to leave his daughter with him after the divorce.

In the statement, he indicated that her mother leads an immoral lifestyle (excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages) and at the same time she exhibits unbalanced behavior.

Moreover, after the statement, the father contacted the local children's service to assist him in this matter.

This service carried out an on-site check of the mother, and upon arrival at her place of residence it was discovered that the child was in a neglected state, and the mother, in turn, was heavily intoxicated.

The mother came to the court hearing sober and stated that this was an isolated incident and it would not happen again. In turn, the children's service referred to the law “On the Protection of the Rights of the Child.” In parallel with this, the service recommended to the court that the child be left with his father, who leads a normal life, he has an apartment and a constant source of income.

The local court of Belgorod, after listening to the arguments of each of the parties, made an unequivocal decision - to leave the child with his father.

Discussion on video

The main points regarding the answers to the question “Who will the child stay with after a divorce” are covered by the Gubernia TV program.

Unable to withstand the hardships of everyday family life, a third of all officially married couples separate. But it’s one thing when there are no children in the family, and another when they are.

The law cannot allow the living conditions of children to deteriorate.

Dear readers! Our articles talk about typical ways to resolve legal issues, but each case is unique.

If you want to know how to solve exactly your problem - contact the online consultant form on the right or call the numbers below. It's fast and free!

Who has children left when a family breaks up according to the law?

The law does not provide an unambiguous definition who should the child stay with after divorce?. Priority cannot be given to the mother because Parents' rights are the same, but the court will definitely consider how the conditions of the child’s detention will change as a result of the breakdown of the relationship between father and mother.

The material component of well-being and living conditions matter, as well as how much the little person will be injured if he is torn away from his mother, and maybe from his father, and other circumstances.

A child who has reached the age of 10 years can declare his choice of who to stay with and why (Article 57 of the RF IC).

The judicial authorities are obliged to understand what prompts the child to make such a decision and evaluate the moral character of each of the representatives of the couple.

May be, the parent with whom the teenager seeks to stay is simply not strict enough and gives a greater degree of freedom, engaging in connivance and yielding to the teenager’s pressure, which attracts the teenager.

Most often, it happens that the more financially secure parent is too busy with official affairs and limited ability to spend a lot of time with the child, as a result of which the baby is left to his own devices.

Only after weighing the totality of circumstances and characteristics, the court will make a final decision.

Children's agreement between father and mother

The ideal case is when mom and dad, getting divorced, will be able to reach a consensus and judge sensibly which of them will be better off, a boy or a girl, and draw up an agreement.

The agreement, written in free form and containing the signatures of mom and dad, should include All points regarding children are discussed:

what kind of living space will they live in?
with which parent
alimony payments, how and in what amount.

Also the order of communication of the parent who will live in another place must be indicated, with your offspring: on what days, hours, how to spend time, etc.

Such a presented paper speaks volumes: parents who managed to draw up an agreement peacefully declare themselves to be well-mannered, reasonable, highly moral individuals. If there is an insoluble conflict, the court itself will make a decision.

If there is a danger that one of the couple may behave dishonestly and violate the obligations stipulated in the agreement, then This document should be drawn up in 3 copies and notarized.

In this case 1 copy is left to the notary and is a guarantee that none of those who signed the document will dare to backtrack, and if they violate it, they will appear before the court.

What about a baby after a divorce?

If you have a small child under one year old, if his mother is against divorce, The father will not be given a divorce until the baby is 1 year old.

If the mother agrees to let her husband go, the infant will remain with her, if she fulfills her maternal responsibilities, takes care of the baby, he is clean, well-groomed, fed and systematically examined by the local pediatrician.

An adequate woman can be calm - no one has the right to take away her child without reason., for this it is necessary to deprive her of maternal rights.

When does the child go to the father?

After a divorce, he can stay with his father if:

the mother herself will decide that her son or daughter will be better off with her dad, and will draw up an agreement about this;
the father really wants and can better provide and raise the child, about which a document from the guardianship authorities will be provided;
mother leads an immoral lifestyle, drinks, uses drugs, does not want to work;
the court declared the mother incompetent;
the woman is unbalanced, tortures the baby;
on business matters mother is constantly on the move;
due to her gloomy, unkind disposition, the woman was unable to instill feelings of affection in the child, while the father was able to, etc.

If the court is convinced that it would indeed be better for the child to live permanently with his father, it may make such a decision. Statistics show that no more than 7% of children remain with their father.

Rights to communicate with the child of the second parent

After mom and dad stopped being a family, they did not stop being family for the little man who was given life and before whom have the responsibility to educate him, communicate with him.

Despite the reasons why parents separated, they should not interfere with communication with family and friends: dad, mom, grandparents, sisters. The Family Code regulates the right to communicate with relatives.

A parent living separately has the right to communicate with minor children, participate in their upbringing and resolve issues of obtaining an education (Article 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).

In the agreement that is provided for the divorce process, the time of communication and the daily schedule should be indicated, as dad and mom were able to agree.

If there is no common opinion, the court will oblige the former couple who lives with the boy not to create obstacles in communication and will determine a schedule of visits. Refusal to allow a child to communicate with dad or mom is punishable.

Who pays child support and to whom?

No matter who the child ends up living with after the family breaks up, the child should not suffer from a lack of funds, therefore During a divorce, the court immediately determines who pays whom.

The one who lives separately pays the parent who permanently lives with the child and must have funds for food, clothing, shoes, toys, pay for entertainment, etc.

Since the responsibilities of both mothers are equal, then participation in material support should be parity.

The amount of alimony payments is stated in Article 81 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation: for one offspring - one quarter, for two children - one third, for three or more children - half of the earnings and (or) other income of the parents.

Divorce is always painful, but The whole process and changes in life have a particularly negative impact on children. Having lost a family that is normal in the generally accepted sense, a child may develop complexes.

In order to traumatize the child’s psyche as little as possible, mom and dad are simply obliged to take all measures to stabilize their relationship. The separation of mom and dad should not lead to a deterioration in the living conditions of their children.

Divorce in the presence of common minor children is carried out exclusively in court, in this case, the spouses are obliged to indicate to the court the resolution of controversial issues: aspects of raising and maintaining children, as well as the division of jointly acquired property.

If there is no dispute regarding the child or the couple presents to the court a mutually drawn up agreement on children, the court deals only with the issue of dissolution of family ties.

If the father and mother cannot come to an agreement on issues of upbringing, further residence and maintenance of the common “child,” these conditions are resolved by the court.

The most complex, emotionally difficult issue regarding children that arises during a divorce is a dispute about a minor, or, as it is called in everyday speech, the division of children.

Mostly when spouses divorce by court decision, children and mother, but the law states equal by both parents, if this does not contradict the interests of the children (Article 61 of the RF IC).

Mandatory participation in the court hearing on approval of leaving the child with one of the parents is taken by guardianship authority, who is obliged to go out with an inspection of living conditions at the places of residence of the mother and father, and give the court his written opinion on the merits of the dispute (Article 78 of the RF IC).

Parents' rights to children during divorce

In accordance with family law, officially established parents have absolutely equal rights over their minor son or daughter and bear equal responsibility for them.

“Officially established” means those recorded by the father and mother in the birth certificate (in the absence of a certificate of form No. 25, stipulating that the father was recorded at the request of the mother, i.e., from her words).

TO rights of father and mother in relation to children include:

the right to choose a child’s first name, surname and patronymic;
the right to communicate with children, to actively participate in their life and development, even when living separately from them (and also to instill in children communication with relatives along the spouse line - grandparents, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters);
determine the method of education and educational institution;
choose an additional occupation (attending clubs, sections, joining a religion, etc.);
organize leisure time;
choose medical institutions, social circles, etc.

The main factor in the exercise of parental rights is the action of each parent solely in the interests of the common child.

Many women, being the initiators of divorce, sometimes naively believe that the child “by default” will be left by the court with the mother.

Answer a few simple questions and get a selection of site materials for your case ↙

What's your gender

Select your gender.

Your answer progress

However, if, upon divorce, a dispute arises between the spouses regarding a minor, the court will take a long time and carefully resolve this issue, study the living and upbringing conditions offered by each of the parents, and will involve as a third independent person guardianship authority.

When determining the place of residence of a minor in a trial, the judge will look at mother and father as equal parties, do not have advantages over each other, so the idea that the father has less rights to the child is a fallacy.

With whom does the child legally remain after the parents divorce?

There is no clear answer to this question in the legislation, therefore, when turning to a judge to resolve this dispute, the father and mother should think carefully and try to resolve this issue peacefully by concluding an agreement about the child.

Agreement about the child- a written document drawn up by parents in any form, reflecting the main aspects of raising children after divorce:

If it is impossible to conclude an agreement and the parents categorically disagree with each other on the issues of raising and further living of the son and/or daughter with one of them, the court will make a decision, including relying on the conclusion of the guardianship and trusteeship authority.

As you know, the trial is an adversarial process, so the child will ultimately remain with the parent to whom he is more attached and who will prove that his conditions are the most favorable for the life and all-round development of the “child.”

How does the court determine who the child will stay with?

To make a fair decision, the court must pay attention to the following factors:

Living conditions of each parent (housing arrangement, its distance from the child’s place of study, the child having a separate sleeping and working place, maintaining cleanliness and order, availability of repairs, etc.) - certificates of inspection of living conditions the parties will necessarily be provided by specialists from the guardianship authority, having previously visited each parent at home;
Social status:
- availability of a place of work and its nature (highly paid work is a positive side of the matter, but, for example, frequent business trips will become an obstacle to leaving a child in the family of a business traveler);
- health status of parents and child (absence or presence of chronic diseases, disabilities, status registered with specialists);
- cases of deprivation or restriction of parental rights in relation to other children;
- presence or absence of a criminal record, etc.
The opinion of the minor himself (Article 57 of the RF IC) - the court must necessarily proceed from the interests of the child and hear his personal opinion on the merits of the dispute, if this does not contradict the interests of the latter. According to the law, a child who has reached the age of 10 years of age and older, in the presence of a teacher (or a person with higher pedagogical education) at the court hearing.
Age and gender of the child (young children - under the age of 10, courts most often leave with their mother, given the greatest psychological attachment to the mother at this age threshold; the gender of the child is also taken into account - girls are more drawn to their mothers, boys, on the contrary, to their fathers) .

Collectively, having compared all of the above factors, having studied the submitted documents, and having received the conclusion of the guardianship and trusteeship authority, the court makes a decision that is focused solely on the protection and preservation of the rights and interests of the minor child ().

How to “sue” a child from the father (husband) or mother (wife)?

Determining the place of residence of a minor with one of the parents is not an absolute factor that cannot be changed.

Therefore, the courts, along with divorce, may consider the issue of determining the order of communication with the child by the parent who will live separately.

According to paragraph 1 of Art. 66 of the RF IC, a parent living together with a child does not have the right to prevent a parent living separately from communicating with the child, if this does not pose a threat to the life and health of the latter.

In the absence of an agreement on the exercise of parental rights in the event of a divorce, this issue is also allowed by the district court with the obligatory participation of the guardianship and trusteeship authority.

During the court hearing the court will need:

characteristics for each parent at place of residence and work;
characteristics from school, kindergarten, clinic, reflecting the role of parents in education;
acts of inspection of living conditions and the conclusion of the guardianship and trusteeship authority;
A very meticulous schedule suggested by an argumentative parent:
- specific meeting days and times;
- holding family holidays, weekends indicating the address of stay (for example, a father’s birthday is celebrated with his father, a mother’s with her mother; one weekend of the month is spent in the father’s family, other weekends with the mother);
- regulation of holidays, etc.

Defining communication schedule with your child, the courts also require the language: “in the presence of the child’s cohabiting parent” or “without the presence of the child’s cohabiting parent” communication will occur. In this case, the court also takes into account the child’s age, his state of health and personal desire to communicate.

For example, the court is unlikely to allow the court to determine the order of communication between a father and his two-year-old daughter without the presence of the child’s mother, especially if the child is removed from his usual home for more than a day. It will also not be possible to determine the communication of a 16-year-old teenager with one of his parents if he is categorically against it.

Violation of copyright entails liability in accordance with the legislation of the Russian Federation. Multifunctional legal center

Moscow, st. Nametkina 15

During the divorce process, minor children very often become a stumbling block on the path to a peaceful resolution of family disputes. Spouses cannot come to a common opinion regarding who the child remains with after a divorce. Dividing acquired property is much easier than deciding the future fate of a little person. What does the legislation say about this, and how to solve this complex vital issue?)

Judicial practice shows that in 90% of cases after divorce proceedings, before the age of 18, they live with their mother. Source: Flickr (Peter_Cantrill

When parents divorce, who does the child stay with?

The Family Code of the Russian Federation provides that minor members of society should not suffer through anyone’s fault, being deprived of communication with their close relatives (father, mother, grandparents, brothers or sisters).

Who do children stay with when their parents divorce? Judicial practice shows that in 90% of cases after divorce proceedings, before the age of 18, they live with their mother. This is due to a number of reasons:
According to statistics, men are more likely to leave their families and children;
the male sex copes worse with parental responsibilities (they pay child support in bad faith, rarely see their children, do not educate them, etc.);

In our country, there is an established opinion that children need a mother more than a father (the mentality of the people).

Therefore, very often the judge decides that a minor member of society should live with his mother.

In what cases does a child stay with his father during a divorce? For such a court decision, compelling reasons are needed:
mother's insolvency;
alcoholism or drug addiction of the spouse;
inadequate living conditions;

If there are no such facts, then it is almost impossible to obtain a court decision to determine the place of residence of the children with their father.

What if the child wants to stay with him? The law stipulates that the opinion of a minor family member must be taken into account from the age of 10. However, the desire of the child is not always enough to decide to live together with the father. Judicial authorities take into account the relationship of children with their parents, the degree of their attachment to one of them, the financial condition of the spouses, the personal qualities of both, their emotional state, employment in the profession and other factors that may affect the quality of upbringing of a small family member.

What rights does a father have to a child after a divorce? Much depends on the judge’s verdict, as well as the likelihood of the spouses reaching an amicable agreement.

Determining the child's living arrangements

The best option for two adults is to reach an agreement out of court by concluding a peace agreement about children. Such a document must be drawn up in writing and certified by a notary. The main points that the spouses stipulate in it are: with whom the children will live, the amount of monthly cash assistance to one of the spouses (alimony), how often and where the children will see their father or mother, as well as other nuances. This approach makes life easier for both adults and growing family members.

Where to turn if you can’t reach an agreement? The legislation provides for only one way - appeal to the judiciary.

This is interesting! If the minor children are not common, but from another marriage, then you can get a divorce by mutual consent in the registry office.

The statement of claim must be filed with the district court at the place of registration or actual residence of the opposite party (defendant). Along with the claim, additional documents necessary for legal proceedings are submitted:

birth certificate of one or more children confirming family ties with them;
marriage certificate (copy of the document);
an extract from the house register about the place of residence of the children;
receipt of payment of state duty in a certain amount;
documents indicating the impossibility of a minor living with one of the spouses (a medical examination report on insanity, a court decision on the incapacity of the other party and other certificates).

After the preliminary hearing, you have the right to file a challenge in order to collect all the necessary documents and evidence (video materials or others) that will help resolve the dispute in your favor.

At the court hearing, the testimony of the plaintiff and defendant, witnesses, as well as children (from 10 years old) is heard. The entire evidence base must be taken into account. After this, a final decision is made, or time is given for reconciliation of the spouses.

No person has the right to violate the legal rights of a child during a divorce: to express his desire or disagreement to live with one of the parents, as well as to prohibit seeing other relatives or receiving financial assistance from them.

You should not limit communication with your father or mother, even if you are very offended.Source: Flickr (Jim_Garringer)

Parents' rights to a child after divorce

The court makes a decision to satisfy the claim or reject it. If it is decided in favor of the mother, how long can the father see the child after a divorce? A parent can see his child without restrictions even after the termination of family relationships. That is, the offended spouse has no right to determine the number of visits with the father, and is also obliged to consult with him regarding important issues concerning the fate of the baby (treatment, education, travel, etc.). To travel abroad, you must obtain a properly executed permit from the other party.

However, in some cases, the court may determine the order of meetings between the father and the child after the divorce (hours, days, months). This rule can only be applied in situations where one of the parties was able to prove the negative influence of the parent on the emotional state of the minor.

In the event of a constant violation of the father’s rights to legally spend time with the child, as well as a ban on taking part in his upbringing, he has the right to go to court to protect his paternal interests.

Divorce with two minor children

Families with two or more children also cannot avoid an unpleasant court procedure if they decide to divorce. How are children divided during a divorce in such cases? The procedure is no different from the one followed when resolving the issue of one child. Depending on the circumstances, the court may separate the children between the parents. As a rule, boys aged 10-12 years old want to stay with their fathers, so the judge takes into account the psychological factor. Children under three years of age should definitely be with their mothers.

Important! The court may refuse to dissolve the marriage if the child has not reached the age of one, or the pregnant woman does not want to break family ties with her husband.

How to protect a child’s psyche from trauma

Remember that the baby is not to blame for the fact that adults could not find a common language with each other. A little creature needs the care and love of both parents equally. The best way is to disperse peacefully. It is clear that he will have to give up his usual way of life, but adults give him the opportunity to grow up in a normal environment, maintaining human relationships with each other. You should not limit communication with your father or mother, even if you are very offended. Do not shift your internal problems onto a fragile creature.

Adults often forget that children are small individuals who are also capable of feeling hurt, pain and loss. But their worldview is just beginning to form, and their parents’ constant quarrels and disrespect for each other break their positive perception of the world. Instill high family values in your children from childhood!